Nomance by T J Price

Author:T J Price
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, recession, social satire, surrogate birth, broad comedy, british farce
Publisher: T J Price

Ten: Taking Stock

It was about six months later when Charmaine and Gwynne’s relationship fell apart.

Everyone was taken by surprise. And that included Charmaine and Gwynne. They couldn’t seem to see why they had to break up either. It just didn’t make any sense. And yet . . . they did.

Gwynne moved back to Romance, and was disconcerted to find the place seemed different somehow. And after he was disconcerted, he was puzzled, because the place looked the same. But more than that, he sensed that he too had changed in some way, and this frightened him a little. For a start, he found he could no longer take comfort with “Beast Horde: The Ultimate Conflict” on his GameBoy. That had never happened to him before. Still more disturbing was how he had lost his urge to play in a band. It didn’t rankle with him in the least that Pod, Ba’a and Rocco had kicked him out of The Dead Dianas.

Now that was odd.

In his experience, getting kicked out of a band should have rankled – and kept rankling for at least two whole years non stop.

Whatever the explanation, not being rankled led to an unexpected consequence – he stopped rankling other people.

And the first person he stopped rankling was his sister. Of course, Carla had shouted and balled when he first came back home, but Carla’s shouting and balling was something he had heard countless times before. He didn’t see the point in answering anymore. And because he wasn’t answering, Carla appeared to lose the thread of her argument.

Which wasn’t to say he had stopped communicating with her.

For instance, a week after his return to Romance, and just as he was about to finish his breakfast, he looked up from his cereal bowl and stared long and hard at her.

After a full thirty seconds, he asked, ‘Didn’t you used to be pregnant, or something?’

Carla started, like she hadn’t been aware he was there and answered yes, rather than telling him to mind your own fucking business, which is what he’d sort of expected to hear.

But even so, Gwynne was a little too pushed for time right then to think of the next question.

He would be merely on time for work if he didn’t get going, rather than early.

That’s right, nowadays he made a point of arriving at the EasyHomes DIY Superstore even earlier than he needed to.

You see, there had been a change at work as well as at home, and he took his new responsibilities at the EasyHomes DIY Superstore very seriously indeed.

These responsibilities had devolved upon him because his superiors had noted how quiet Gwynne had become since he’d broken up with Charmaine. Interpreting his lifeless expression as a mark of a sober young man, mature beyond his years, they had offered him promotion.

Well, it was either him or that complete drip, Ba’a, in Tiles and Grouting.

Gwynne jumped at the offer. After all, even a complete drip knew promotion meant more money. What did come as an unpleasant surprise was the hidden catch.

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